Thursday, May 20, 2010

T.A.D.

My mother in law coined this perfect phrase....Turn Around Day.  That is what yesterday was.  In the morning, I said goodbye to my preschoolers, closed the final chapter of my failed business and created scenarios in my mind of 1 million different what if's.  By 8:30 last night, I had a new job, a salary, an office, and the need for someone to pinch me.   This feels like the biggest cosmic do-over ever.  The tunnel has been so long and dark for such a long time, that finally emerging into the light is taking a little adjusting!  Or maybe a lot of adjusting.  I feel like I have maybe finally come into my authentic self...or at least gotten much closer to the center!  It is all so much of a wow.

Faith is a funny thing.  All along, I have trusted that God had a plan.  From the moment I felt the call to ministry, God has put things in place that, while not easy,  have gotten me to where I longed to be.  And yet, while I trusted,  when I let MY mind and MY need for control take over, I was met with huge doubts and frustrations galore.  I think that was God's way of saying shut up and trust child.  I am in charge, we'll get there together.  And here we are, arriving at this call together.  My faith in God is steadfast and  my faith in myself is being restored. 

So June 8th, I begin this new path.  Changes will have to happen at home, a little sharing of duties, streamlining of routines.  But mama will be happy.  And when mama is happy, everyone is happy. And everyone is breathing a huge sigh of relief, and everyone is dancing in the glory of God! 

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