Yep, that is about how I am feeling right now. Just when I thought maybe we were getting back on the road to health, Jman came into our room in the middle of the night to let us know he had thrown up. Poor kid. So back to the couch turned hospital bed for him. Luckily the sheets and blankets had just come back up from the laundry the day before...that one day there wasn't someone illin' on that couch. Seriously we have had illness in our house for over 45 days. That is just plain unreal. I am considering demolition...maybe if we just re-built?? And it's not like we live in a stye. I clean...with bleach...all the time. My peeling fingers prove it. There are some seriously tenacious bugs in this community.
I am not sure if it is all the sickness that has me down or just life in general. I am someone who needs a brain challenge and to say my life is lacking in creative challenges right now is an understatement. I need something to really sink my teeth into. Something that fills me up. I am trying really hard to just be satisfied with what I have and where I am. It's not things that I want or more to love or more to nurture (yes, I have enough breathing beings to nurture) I crave a good brainstorming session, a chance to think and problem solve and dream and figure and talk and scheme. Teachers aide in a preschool isn't doing it, it feels a little too much like home, cleaning up kids messes, refereeing disagreements, getting snack... Maybe it is the drudgery of this constant illness, or the huge changes in my life over the last year settling around me...or, or, or...I don't know. Maybe it is a wandering time, a time to figure out who I am and what I want to be. I do know that if something doesn't give pretty soon, I may be contemplating life from my very own padded cell.
Ugh-ity, ugh ugh ugh...life goes on.
I hate feeling like I am in a rut. Sounds like you need a big cup of coffee with a good friend that can get you fired up again. Hope everyone is feeling good very soon!
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