A weekend

It was a great weekend.  Friday, E took the boys and they went to a water park for an overnight.  I got to stay home with girlie girl and puppy.  Although it wasn't relaxing, it was quiet.  I did decided that I like my Saturday mornings full of people.  I couldn't justify making a big breakfast for M and I...and I love a big Sat. breakfast, I have since I was little.  Cleaning is also alot more fun with the whole family involved, and it gets done so much faster.  So the lesson from Saturday was, I love having four kids and I miss them when they are gone.

Today was an almost perfect Sunday.  Our youth choir sang at church and did a great job.  Some of our "old" choir kids were back from college with great hugs and fun stories.  I truly love my church, it is a wonderful second home.  After church we came home to watch a fun vikings game and I even got a little family finances done while watching.  After that, it was puppy and mommy on a walk in the woods.  It was beautiful and peaceful and a great time to reflect a bit.  Tonight I made homemade pizza with a new amazing crust recipe and we had the neighbors over.  And now, as I sit and type, I am being seranaded by a tenor sax, snuggled by a sleepy girl, and looking forward to watching a little Brothers and Sisters in a bit.  Life today was good.  Very good.

I was accused by my neighbor of being a little too Martha Stewart.  I have been dabbling in a little crafting here and there.  I am thinking about venturing into Etsy.  I figure it might be the creative outlet I need to keep the brain going while I patiently wait for a better job to come along.  I must say though, this weekend I may have over done it.  I sewed doll clothes for M's American Girl baby, did a little prep for a Thanksgiving table masterpiece, as well as made pizza crust from scratch...so yep, maybe a little too Martha, but I gotta keep this brain going.

Gotta go do the bed routine...heres to a week that resembles the weekend!!

Ugh-ity, Ugh, Ugh, Ugh!

Yep, that is about how I am feeling right now.  Just when I thought maybe we were getting back on the road to health, Jman came into our room in the middle of the night to let us know he had thrown up.  Poor kid.  So back to the couch turned hospital bed for him.  Luckily the sheets and blankets had just come back up from the laundry the day before...that one day there wasn't someone illin' on that couch.  Seriously we have had illness in our house for over 45 days.  That is just plain unreal.  I am considering demolition...maybe if we just re-built??  And it's not like we live in a stye.  I clean...with bleach...all the time.  My peeling fingers prove it.  There are some seriously tenacious bugs in this community.

I am not sure if it is all the sickness that has me down or just life in general.  I am someone who needs a brain challenge and to say my life is lacking in creative challenges right now is an understatement.  I need something to really sink my teeth into.  Something that fills me up.    I am trying really hard to just be satisfied with what I have and where I am. It's not things that I want or more to love or more to nurture (yes, I have enough breathing beings to nurture)  I crave a good brainstorming session, a chance to think and problem solve and dream and figure and talk and scheme. Teachers aide in a preschool isn't doing it, it feels a little too much like home, cleaning up kids messes, refereeing disagreements, getting snack...  Maybe it is the drudgery of this constant illness, or the huge changes in my life over the last year settling around me...or, or, or...I don't know.  Maybe it is a wandering time, a time to figure out who I am and what I want to be.  I do know that if something doesn't give pretty soon, I may be contemplating life from my very own padded cell.   

Ugh-ity, ugh ugh ugh...life goes on.

A tale of two toddlers...one human, one canine!

Oh the toddlers have taken over.   Meron found her terrible two today.  Yowza.  She has a sassy streak a mile wide and an attitude to match it.  From looking right at us at dinner while she fed the dog, to screaming "mama do-on't" as I tried to get her pants off for bath.  I am slightly shaking in my boots.  It was also hair night, which is always as interesting task.  She had had her hair in little puffs, but they were falling out of their holders so it was time for a new do...one that might last a few days (maybe a week if we are lucky).  If you heard a shriek around 8:45, it was the princess, giving me her opinion of hair time.  Armed with a lollipop and a large assortment of colorful hair bands, we did make it through.  And I must say it turned out pretty cute.

Then there is the puppy.  Lovin her to bits, but she is all puppy.  We thought she was 5 months.  Turns out she is closer to 3 months.  Hence she is a chewer.  But she is so silly, and sweet and has brought many needed smiles to our house.  We love it.  She has been keeping Zach company (who IS really sick and back in bed with a high temp...poor kid) and she is getting me out exercising every morning and evening which is great.  But it is like having two toddlers.  Tonight I had to tell both of them to get down many times, to take "that" out of their mouths, and they both heard plenty of No, NO, NO! 

 

But I think they will be the best of buddies and will have each other for many years to come!

Sometimes Parenting Sucks

Just when I thought we might be entering a time of health, peace and tranquility (yeah, shut up, I know with 4 kids this is unlikely)  we seem to have hit a colossal snag.  My sweet Z-man, my prone to high emotions, high drama, and a dose of hypochondria child is really having a hard time.  I am having a really hard time separating truth from fiction, real pain from conjured pain, and emotion from manipulation.  It is a yucky place to be and it brings out the very worst parent in me.  We were hoping to get in to our MD tomorrow to get some insight, but the clinic called and he is out for the next 7 days with H1N1..oh joy.   I am at an impass and I can't figure out what to do.  I hate it when my instinct is too quiet and my resources minimal.  Say a little prayer for him...I know it isn't easy on him either.

On other notes, I am not loving 3 yr olds.  I love teaching the 4/5 year olds, but the three year olds might do me in.  Lucky they only meet twice a week.  I am not sure preschool teaching is for me.  It is a job,one I can do, but oh I think a year will be the max. 

Part of my problem is I have my heart set on a job that isn't vacant at the moment.  But I am feeling such a strong call to go in this direction.  I can't discuss it all yet as the chips are in mid-fall...but a little prayer in that area would be good too!

Not all parenting sucks...the 11 yr old and 6 year old are hilarious right now and thriving...and princess sunshine is baby and girl and toddler and mischief maker all rolled into one.  I love it. 

SO I solider on...unsure of the path or the destination, but taking it one little day at a time.