Tales From the Sandbox

2011....

2011-01-01T09:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, I really didn't fall off the face of the earth. I am still alive and most importantly, I survived 2010. Oi what a year it was! Broken elbow, broken finances, broken jobs, broken house, on the flip side, fixed house, new job, happy kids, healing elbow, ending so very well. I am happy, my family is happy, life is truly good once again. 2011 could be a pretty crazy year. There are some exciting things in the pipe line...all of which I will share more about as they come clearer! But here is a quick re-cap on where things are since September!!

LOVE my job. Love working with the youth and using my creativity to plan and write and share my faith.

LOVING my house...at long last. Floors are refinished, I have my first grown up couch, new stove and microwave...now I just need to deal with the mess!

LOVING my kiddo's. They are all thriving in their own ways. M still wobbles between big girl and little girl. ( May 2011 bring potty training and soon!) and is all girlie girl...at last!
J-dog is a wonderful almost as tall as me soon to be teen. We really have fun together and it is a blessing.
Z-man is finally finding his stride and is doing so well!! It is great to see him settle into life and flourish!
B-bear is hilarious. He is ALL boy and such a hoot to be with. And he still cuddles...I love it!

Things to work on....I will soon have a list of 100 things...things I am going to accomplish in the next few years. It is still a bit of a work in progress, but hope to have it on the blog soon...and I am pledging to blog more this year. Time isn't the easiest to find these days, but if I took a little of my facebook time and put it towards the blog, I might be able to keep up!

Happy new year one and all !!

And then he was teen....

2010-09-18T18:21:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness. Who took my child and made him a teenager? I am pretty sure I was just a teen myself and am surely NOT old enough to have birthed a child who is now a teen. Yiekity Yiek Yiek Yieks! So in the last two weeks said teen has...gotten a Facebook account, gotten a cell phone, run wild with his friends at the football game, shopped at Aeropostle , needed oxy clean for zits, started algebra...the list goes on. My sweet, sweet baby boy...the one who changed my world in so many wonderful ways. He is still wonderful. Still responsible and sweet and truly a friend to me. He is the perfect mix of his dad and I and brings strength to all those qualities. I pray the teen years are good to him, because wow, what a great kid!

Still Alive and Kicking

2010-09-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

I am still alive. I know I sort of missed most of summer. It really has been a wonderful whirlwind of fun and craziness. I have written a million blog posts in my mind, but not so many here. Life's pace has picked up considerably and it is great, but nuts. So here it is in a nut shell:

Summer was good. Great lake time with both sides of the family. Time with my family of origin, by myself in Seattle, for my nephews most amazing baptism. Hail storms and new roofs, carpenter ants and a garage demo, cleaning and purging and lawn mowing, minimal garden tending, children chasing, pool swimming, fire-fly watching, boat riding, water-ski-coaching all in all a good time.

The kids are all launched back into the fall routine. Thank the Lord! Good teachers for everyone. Can't quite believe I have a Jr. Higher...wow. Meron is in full time daycare and loving it. She loves hanging out at "Beff's" house (Beth!) and has even started taking naps again. WOW! This weekend we will celebrate her 2 year Family day. 2 years ago, we were picking her up in Ethiopia. It feels like a lifetime ago.

And then there is ME. Yes ME! I found ME again and it is wonderful! For the first time in more years than I can count, I am remembering who I am. Not mom, not wife, not maid, not cook but me. I LOVE my new job and the people I have met and gotten to work with. I love using my brain and going to work, by myself. I love creating and thinking, and hanging out with my youth group kids. It really is wonderful and I am loving getting to know me again. I missed her!

So there ya go. Life is good, kids are good, I am good. :) God is GOOD!

The Lake

2010-06-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure heaven is a lake in MN, with the loons singing, children laughing, and a comfy floaty, riding the waves, sipping a diet coke, sunshine kissing my cheeks. We are at the lake. This is the first of three weeks at various MN lakes for me. This week with E's family, next week with kids from church, and the next week with my family of origin. I can't imagine a better way to enjoy life. Miss sunshine loves the lake this year. She mostly loves the boat and asked several time today..."we go in the boat and go bumpy bump fast and I will go Yipee!!" She is hillarious. She loves fish and enjoyed holding worms and sunnies. Such fun. J-dog now has his boat license so he can drive...pretty proud. And Z and B are thriving on the sun and the sand. I LOVE THE LAKE!!

One Week In

2010-06-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

Well, one week under my belt. What a good week it was. Spent most of the week cleaning the office, sorting files, trying to make it home...since I hope to spend many happy hours there. I woke up this morning feeling so peaceful. What a wonderful feeling. To know all is okay, to be happy, to be satisfied! Still having a little trouble relenquishing full control at home, but so far so good. The kids had a great first week off. There was a little too much rain, but other than that, it was good. I think the summer will fly by. Here are a couple of office pics...still no desk, so it is a little makeshift at the moment!

Now it's off to make a plan for Saturday. It's raining cats and dogs...so we will see what transpires.

"NO! I non't wan tooooo"

2010-06-07T19:21:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe such a sweet little face could scream this at the top of her lungs. But drive by on any given day at any given time, and there is a strong chance that this is what you will hear! We hear it loud and soft, whiney and defiant, with tears and without, in full tantrum mode and with a laugh behind it. Ahh yes, we have entered that lovely stage between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. This is the ONLY stage so far in raising all of the kids that I honestly wonder whose child they are and why I ever thought I was a good mother. They are caught between big and little, wanting to do so much, but not wanting to grow too fast. It could be a long summer. At least all the brothers are home to take turns with her. I made the silly mistake of taking them all to the mall with me today. What ever was I thinking. I love to shop with my kids, one at a time or maybe even two at a time, but all four? That is a ticket straight to the psyche ward! We must have made quite a sight for other mall goers. A stroller being pushed rather haphazardly by a distracted 7 year old, a slightly whiney 10 year old, a 12 year old who kept trying to catch his reflection in the store windows and a little sprite of a 2 3/4 yr old weaving in and out, singing the "no, no, no song" Ahh what an adventure. Target will never be the same.

I start my new job in the morning. I can't wait. I am a little nervous, but mostly just really excited. I haven't worked full time in 12 years. I haven't gotten this nice of a paycheck either! It will be wonderful. The kids and I were talking about the changes and I told them that it wouldn't change that much for them....just that they would have a happier mom. That will make all the difference. To finally have the chance to do something I love, that makes a difference to others is a great feeling.

Must head to bed...gotta get up and go to work after all. I will hope to post pics of my office makeover, and settling in over the next few days!

Pictures~

2010-06-03T13:27:00.000-07:00

Mama got a new camera and boy is she having fun with it!! Here is a little peek....

I love capturing these adorable faces~ Now if I can just figure out how to get them to upload quicker!!

Two Years

2010-05-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today, I first laid eyes on my daughter's face. She was perfect, and tiny, and looked so lost and sad. I longed to hold her, to hear her laugh, and to feel her in my arms. Tonight, we spent the evening watering flowers in the yard. She laughed, she ran, she danced, she said "mama I luv you", and my heart was full to over-flowing. I still can't believe that this amazing child, with the dimpled smile, perfect curls, and beautiful voice is my daughter. What a humble blessing to be the one to hear her laugh, share in her smiles, and return her sticky kisses. It is so very bittersweet. I love this child heart and soul, and I know there is a family on the other side of the world who would give anything to know the wonderful little girl she has become. So on this referral-versary, I pray that God gives them peace in their hearts. Peace in knowing she is thriving, and happy, and so incredibly loved.

Happy

2010-05-26T06:08:00.000-07:00

I am. Happy that is. It is a pretty wonderful feeling. Here's why:

The little black cloud over my head blew away.

Heard James Taylor and Carole King in concert last night...wow!

Planted my gardens and cleaned my front porch.

Summer is almost here.

I have a job I can't wait to start.

I got to paint Meron's toes pink while sipping lemonade on the porch.

Today I get coffee with a girlfiend

Another girlfriend is picking up her sons in Ethiopia soon.

I am blessed and God is good.

T.A.D.

2010-05-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

My mother in law coined this perfect phrase....Turn Around Day. That is what yesterday was. In the morning, I said goodbye to my preschoolers, closed the final chapter of my failed business and created scenarios in my mind of 1 million different what if's. By 8:30 last night, I had a new job, a salary, an office, and the need for someone to pinch me. This feels like the biggest cosmic do-over ever. The tunnel has been so long and dark for such a long time, that finally emerging into the light is taking a little adjusting! Or maybe a lot of adjusting. I feel like I have maybe finally come into my authentic self...or at least gotten much closer to the center! It is all so much of a wow.

Faith is a funny thing. All along, I have trusted that God had a plan. From the moment I felt the call to ministry, God has put things in place that, while not easy, have gotten me to where I longed to be. And yet, while I trusted, when I let MY mind and MY need for control take over, I was met with huge doubts and frustrations galore. I think that was God's way of saying shut up and trust child. I am in charge, we'll get there together. And here we are, arriving at this call together. My faith in God is steadfast and my faith in myself is being restored.

So June 8th, I begin this new path. Changes will have to happen at home, a little sharing of duties, streamlining of routines. But mama will be happy. And when mama is happy, everyone is happy. And everyone is breathing a huge sigh of relief, and everyone is dancing in the glory of God!

And so it begins....

2010-05-16T18:17:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful weekend. Just coming off the musical Children's Letters to God at church. I was the vocal director and it was wonderful. I missed doing theatre soo much! We had a cast of about 35 8-18 year olds. What a blessing they all were. J-dog had a leading role and was amazing, I was so proud. Z-man had several parts and rocked everyone of them. (and B was a superstar usher!!) It was an exhausting, uplifting, wonderful weekend. And now the week begins.

This week is looking very much like the last chapter of a really well written novel, where all the ends get tied up and the heroine emerges a better person who has grown and changed and truly come into herself. At least that is how I would like to write this week.

Tomorrow begins the end of the preschool year. We will "graduate" 26 cherubs tomorrow and 20 on Tuesday. Then it's class picnics and goodbyes. I. am.so.ready! I am not sure whether I will be back in the fall. It really does feel like the last chapter.

Tomorrow night, I interview. For the job that makes me feel the most like me. For the job that 2 years ago, over coffee with great girlfriends, I tearfully said, I would give up the shop in a heartbeat to be back in that position. And the job I now find myself an interview away from.

There are a few other ends that will hopefully find resolution this week. Ends that I would not have chosen along my path, nor am proud of, but experiences that have taught me a lot about the cost of dreaming, the strength of my character, and made me appreciate all that I do have. Not going to say anymore, except that some of life's lessons are bitter pills to swallow, but God always has your back and things are better on the other side.

So it is a weeks of endings and hopefully beginnings. I am so ready to start a new ride, in a new direction. May it be so!

I Really Am Still Alive

2010-05-07T15:06:00.000-07:00

Don't faint dead away. Yes, this is a new post from me...I am alive. Lets just say it's been a very long winter and a very long many months for that matter. Lots of soul searching, deciding who I want to be, where I want to be etc. Lots of financial issues from a failed business, lots of baggage of both the emotional and"stuff" kind from a failed business...so the last several months have been all about trying to keep my head above water.

In March, I fell and broke my elbow and ended up with surgery and a long recovery. I must say that the 10 minutes I have gotten to spend twice a week, laying in the PT's office, in total peace and quiet with a heat pack on my elbow have begun to cure what ailed me. God and I have had a few chats, I have had a few chats with myself, and as spring is blossoming, I finally feel like I might be seeing a little light at the end of this long tunnel.

The kids are all doing well. Thriving really. Miss Sassy is amazing. I can't believe it have only been a year and a half since she came to our family. She is our sunshine and I can't imagine life without her. She is quite the little mother. Lots of babies, snuggling etc. True joy. J-dog is just big. Tall, lanky, and amazing. Love hanging out with him and watching him come into his own. Z-man is doing pretty good. Getting more and more comfortable in his own skin. If all the people had even as ounce of the compassion and empathy he carries in his young soul, the world would be a better place! B just continues to hammer on through life! Exhuberant doesn't begin to describe him. He keeps us laughing that one.

As for me, I have a job interview sometime in the next few weeks for my dream job. I am guardedly excited. A little once bitten, twice shy. But excited...the possibilities are soo exciting.

So that is life in a nutshell. I really am going to try and start writing more again. It is good for my soul!

Just plain sad

2010-01-14T13:45:00.000-08:00

The news out of Haiti is so sad. We have shirt-tail connections to people who have lost loved ones. It is hard to sit in my house, with all my family accounted for, and even grasp what it must be like on the ground in Haiti. I don't think we can fathom the depths of the loss or the need. As the kids and I were getting breakfast and lunches and launching for the day, we had the Today show on. It was a teachable moment. A sad moment to remind my bickering, chaotic kids that we are blessed, and that we are called to help.

I am struggling with pushing the kids to help. We have a local branch of Kids Against Hunger here in town and they are packaging food round the clock right now. The kids suggested going and helping as a family. We will head there after school tomorrow. They are requesting those that come to package also bring some sort of a donation. I REALLY want the kids to think up donating some of their money on their own. I REALLY don't want to push them into doing it, but I also think it is something they will remember for the rest of their lives, and hopefully at this young age, will plant the seeds of our truly global family. Because we truly are a global family. Whether it is someone in our own community that needs help, or an ocean away in Ethiopia or Haiti, we are a global family.

Do what you can, with what you have, to spread God's Word, Share God's Love, and Help your global Sisters and Brothers.

It's Too Da** Cold!

2010-01-08T16:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, yes, I did choose to live in this frozen tundra. Nothing beats a warm summer evening, sitting in the boat at sunset, listening to the loons. Everything beats -50 wind chill, 20+ inches of snow, and ice so thick I want to put skates on the mini van. But I guess I have to deal with one to relish the other.

It really is damn cold here right now. The poor puppy, who still needs some house-training work, looks at me like I have lost my mind as I shove her tush quickly out the door. She is repaying me by leaving little presents all over the house. Poor puppers. (invest in Kids and Pets stock if you are looking for a sure thing...we are buying tons of it right now)

They say it is going to thaw soon. It's going to get to a whopping 30. Might be time to break out the shorts.

I am feeling a little chilly on the job front as well. Church has not posted the application for the job I am hoping to apply for. I have never wanted a job so bad in my life. I want it so bad I almost get a physical reaction when I think about it. I feel so called to this job, and looking back, feel like God has led me to this point. But this is where I struggle. How much of this is me listening to God's call and how much of it is me following my own desires? I really do think this is a calling, but if this doesn't pan out the way I am hoping, I will be at a loss. Preschool teacher's aide is doing me in!!

The kids are all doing fine, albeit a little cagey given the weather. They got out of school early yesterday and started late today, due to the mighty fine weather. I guess it has a few perks! The tween turns 12 next week. That will be a blog post all on it's own. The princess has decided she is cute enough and doesn't need any beauty sleep...it's wrecking havoc on my beauty! Her favoritie place to sleep right now is in between mom and dad, touching both of us. Makes for a long night. I do recall her brothers all doing this about this age...and they all sleep pretty well now, so we are holding out hope!

Well, time to send a princess to the tub, and hope for a little warm sleep later in the evening. As the boys around here say...
Peace out!

Hello 2010!

2010-01-01T07:58:00.000-08:00

Well hello 2010! I am so very glad to see you! You see 2009 was not my friend. In fact, 2009 was one of those years I hope to soon forget! So 2010, I just want to set a few ground rules for ya as you come to play in our sandbox...

1. Unexpected surprises are allowed and encouraged, IF they are GOOD surprises.
2. Between you and me, we need to figure out what I am going to be when I grow up, and the sooner the better.
3. I learned enough about patience last year and the year before. It has been determined it is a lesson I won't learn, so don't even try.
4. In year's past, my children have gone through 6 month cycles (good behavior/bad behavior) 2010 is a 12 month cycle of great behavior! (just so you know)
5. Financial issues go hand in hand with the surprise rule. Allowed and encouraged only if they are windfalls.
6.The goal this year is to be happy. Please work toward this goal at all times.
7. It looks as though tween-dome, potty training, and puppy training are all on the docket this year. Again, good surprises welcomed and encouraged.
8. If you would like to be a year to be remembered, play nice, follow the rules, don't flex your muscles.
9. An early spring, a warm summer, and long fall, and a snowy Christmas would be appreciated.
10. We can be good friends, if you follow these rules, share the toys in the sandbox, and bring on some of those good surprises!

Sincerely,
me

Christmas Blessings

2009-12-26T15:38:00.000-08:00

The wrapping is gone, the toys strewn about. The tree is still standing, thou a little tousled in appearance. The tins of cookies are down to the crumbs, the left overs are stacked precariously in the fridge. Band Hero and Lego Rockband are suppling the theme music for the day, and I can't believe it's over already!

It was a wonderful Christmas. Miss Sunshine was in her glory. Santa brought her a shopping cart that she is head over heels for, and mom and dad got her a doll that she truly hasn't let out of her sight since opening it. It was wonderful to watch the joy in her eyes at all the magic of the season.

The boys had there expectations met and more. Even the tween seemed happy with his loot. Mother nature blessed us with a fabulous snowstorm. It felt like we were living in a snow globe for much of the holiday! One set of grandparents came and got stranded which was great fun. Unfortunately the other side got stranded at home and didn't make it. That was the only damper on the holiday.

We now have a week of vacation for all of us. I forsee game playing, fort building, a little room cleaning, some re-organizing, and mostly family time together. Can't wait!

Enjoy the pics!

The night before the night before the night before Christmas

2009-12-22T06:27:00.000-08:00

And all through the house ALL the creatures were stiring...I think I heard a mouse! Oh the ramp up to Christmas is so fun and insane and crazy! I was forced to procrastinate this year (waiting on the Christmas money ship to come in). E and I did all our shopping in 1 day. We are amazing ! I do have a few bits and pieces to finish this am...then we are preparing for a HUGE winter storm that promises to mess with travel plans, but also be a ton of fun. Getting snowed in with a pile of presents, tons of good food, and your favorite people in the world doesn't sound too bad! We are hoping the grandparents will all be able to make it to our house...but is isn't looking too good. That will be a bummer.

Miss Sunshine is all about the lights, jingle bells, and asking "WHat Santa Bring" if you don't answer "presents" is quick fashion, you are in trouble. She is a hoot.

Time to go sneak a Christmas cookie with the last drops of coffee and make one more trip to retail land.

May you find peace and the reason for the season in the days to come.

National Lampoons Christmas vacation...our style

2009-12-17T20:34:00.000-08:00

Oyi what a week. It has been a doozie. After our picture perfect tree trip, a fun Christmas program at church on Sunday...the fun really began. Monday morning started with the tween complaining of a sore throat. Yay, buck up little camper...you can make it, take a tylenol and soldier on. Said tween returns from school, still feeling crummy. Take said tween to the MD on Tuesday afternoon. Is it strep again? Could it be mono? (oh nooo) Low and behold, it is strep again. Huge dose of antibiotics and he is repaired. Wed, middle man complains of sore throat...another one bites the dust...more antibiotics for him, more days of children home when they belong in school, more days of mom not getting anything done because said children needing mommy. I need me in triplicate!

This week, Toddler enters full toddler-hood. OH.MY. GOODNESS. Girl toddlers are way different than boy toddlers...they have this whole diva thing going on. Said toddler has decided her attention grabbing action of choice is to melt, lay herself down on the floor and refuse any request mom might make. It is lovely. We have tried out the floor at the Y, the aisles of Target, the parquet on in the sanctuary at church, the kitchen floor, and the snowy parking lot at work. Oh lovely! She also isn't sleeping, unless she is twirling her toddler-diva-self in mom and dad's bed. It is making for a sleep deprived, rescoures tapped out mama.

The other silly of the week...11:30 at night, mom hears a crash in the living room. All living beings are accounted for. Gravity struck the Christmas tree and it was laying on the couch, water all over the floor, along with ornament bits and pieces. Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...

On the up side, I only have one day left of work, then have 2 weeks off. Stinks for the pay check, but great for the sanity! (The new job I am going after still doesn't have an official application...keep praying) So I can finally START Christmas shopping. Yes, I know, Christmas is coming very soon!

So Dear Santa,
Please bring me some sanity, wrapped up in a little sleep, with a lovely new job and salaried paycheck on top...oh and if there is any room left, a wand that will turn the diva back into a sweet princess and eradicate all germs from the house. Please Santa, I have been a really, really good girl!

Picture Perfect

2009-12-12T15:12:00.000-08:00

It was a Hallmark movie kind of day. We had a blast cutting the Christmas tree this year. There was the perfect layer of snow...it was a balmy 25 degrees, the sun was shining, and we found the perfect tree. It was just right.

I am having a bit of a panic attack that Christmas will be here so soon. I know it comes the same time every year, but this year it is really sneaking up on me. I have a ton to do...but the next week and 1/2 will be great fun with lots of merry making, gift buying, and cookie baking! It is my fav time of year. I have to remember to slow down and savor it all.

May you find a few Hallmark moments in your week to come!

Snow Day, Snow Day!!

2009-12-09T08:04:00.000-08:00

What a glorious thing to lay in bed at 5 am, tuned into the local am radio station and have them say, "oh, wait, we have the superintendent on the line, all schools are closed today, due to the blizzard". Then give your hubby a quick kiss, while burrowing back under the warm covers knowing you can sneak in at least another 1 or 2 hours of sleep!

We are having a good ole MN blizzard. Snow (about 8 inches right now) blowing, icicles, it is awesome! The Christmas music is playing, the kids are still in pjs, Meron is playing with the manger set and talking to baby Jesus...it doesn't get much better. I think our day will include some cookie baking, a holiday movie or two, a yatzee tourney, the stuff memories are made of. LOVE IT!

I am taking the plunge and applying for a new job. I am applying to be the director of Christian Education and Youth Ministry at church. I had the job for 4 years before J-dog was born. I loved it, was good at it, and it filled me up. I really think God is calling me in this direction. I am soo hopeful, but I also know of some other very qualified people applying. I am nervous, excited, and trying not to hope too much. I have had enough let down in the last year to last for a while. Hopefully my gut instinct is on. Say a few prayers if you would!!

Gotta go read some Christmas stories to my girlie, girl!

Big, Fat, and Fluffy

2009-12-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

No that is not a description of myself....it is of the beautiful snowflakes that are falling outside my window right now. It is the first pretty snow of the season and it is beautiful. I know I have been gone from the cyber world for a while. There has been an awful lot on my plate. We continued with illness for way too long. We hit 48 days of having someone home sick. Then we got Thanksgiving break. Then we got strep...it feels a little never ending. Today, everyone was in their proper place, I am holding out a little hope that tomorrow might bring the same.

The snow tonight has put me in a very reflective mood. It seems fresh and full of hope, magical. I definitely needed a little of this in my life. I am hoping and praying that we too are entering a time of fresh hope and even a little magic. It has been a really long journey to this point. The journey to Meron was so wonderful and getting her here and gathering her into our lives was all I hoped for and more, but I never got a chance to catch my breath after that moment. It was right back into the grind and dealing with a failing small business, financial disaster, four kids etc etc. Selling the business this summer helped, but left me in a place of wandering...wondering who I am and where I am going and trying to figure out what matters most to me. My family comes first, but I have learned that in order to give to them fully, my cup has to be full too. How do I fill my cup right now? That is the question at the forefront of my mind. I know that I am not one to just be content with the status quo. I need to be challenged, to create, to work for good, to dream. There is a chance that opportunity is on the horizon. I want to hope, to dream, to pray...but it is a little scary. I don't want to be let down. I want my cup to be filled and I think this is the direction I am being called in...but sometimes it is hard to discern God's voice from my own. So I am going to try to be open, to let hope, and magic, and fear swirl around together to fill my cup. It's not about adding more people or animals or things in my life...it is about filling my heart, growing in a new direction, being passionate about something again, and getting a chance to start fresh, catch my breath, and finally relax into a true smile.

I'll update you on all the kids soon, I promise...there are lots of stories to tell. I just need to fill my cup a bit first!

A weekend

2009-11-15T18:09:00.000-08:00

It was a great weekend. Friday, E took the boys and they went to a water park for an overnight. I got to stay home with girlie girl and puppy. Although it wasn't relaxing, it was quiet. I did decided that I like my Saturday mornings full of people. I couldn't justify making a big breakfast for M and I...and I love a big Sat. breakfast, I have since I was little. Cleaning is also alot more fun with the whole family involved, and it gets done so much faster. So the lesson from Saturday was, I love having four kids and I miss them when they are gone.

Today was an almost perfect Sunday. Our youth choir sang at church and did a great job. Some of our "old" choir kids were back from college with great hugs and fun stories. I truly love my church, it is a wonderful second home. After church we came home to watch a fun vikings game and I even got a little family finances done while watching. After that, it was puppy and mommy on a walk in the woods. It was beautiful and peaceful and a great time to reflect a bit. Tonight I made homemade pizza with a new amazing crust recipe and we had the neighbors over. And now, as I sit and type, I am being seranaded by a tenor sax, snuggled by a sleepy girl, and looking forward to watching a little Brothers and Sisters in a bit. Life today was good. Very good.

I was accused by my neighbor of being a little too Martha Stewart. I have been dabbling in a little crafting here and there. I am thinking about venturing into Etsy. I figure it might be the creative outlet I need to keep the brain going while I patiently wait for a better job to come along. I must say though, this weekend I may have over done it. I sewed doll clothes for M's American Girl baby, did a little prep for a Thanksgiving table masterpiece, as well as made pizza crust from scratch...so yep, maybe a little too Martha, but I gotta keep this brain going.

Gotta go do the bed routine...heres to a week that resembles the weekend!!

Ugh-ity, Ugh, Ugh, Ugh!

2009-11-11T11:54:00.000-08:00

Yep, that is about how I am feeling right now. Just when I thought maybe we were getting back on the road to health, Jman came into our room in the middle of the night to let us know he had thrown up. Poor kid. So back to the couch turned hospital bed for him. Luckily the sheets and blankets had just come back up from the laundry the day before...that one day there wasn't someone illin' on that couch. Seriously we have had illness in our house for over 45 days. That is just plain unreal. I am considering demolition...maybe if we just re-built?? And it's not like we live in a stye. I clean...with bleach...all the time. My peeling fingers prove it. There are some seriously tenacious bugs in this community.

I am not sure if it is all the sickness that has me down or just life in general. I am someone who needs a brain challenge and to say my life is lacking in creative challenges right now is an understatement. I need something to really sink my teeth into. Something that fills me up. I am trying really hard to just be satisfied with what I have and where I am. It's not things that I want or more to love or more to nurture (yes, I have enough breathing beings to nurture) I crave a good brainstorming session, a chance to think and problem solve and dream and figure and talk and scheme. Teachers aide in a preschool isn't doing it, it feels a little too much like home, cleaning up kids messes, refereeing disagreements, getting snack... Maybe it is the drudgery of this constant illness, or the huge changes in my life over the last year settling around me...or, or, or...I don't know. Maybe it is a wandering time, a time to figure out who I am and what I want to be. I do know that if something doesn't give pretty soon, I may be contemplating life from my very own padded cell.

Ugh-ity, ugh ugh ugh...life goes on.

A tale of two toddlers...one human, one canine!

2009-11-07T19:59:00.000-08:00

Oh the toddlers have taken over. Meron found her terrible two today. Yowza. She has a sassy streak a mile wide and an attitude to match it. From looking right at us at dinner while she fed the dog, to screaming "mama do-on't" as I tried to get her pants off for bath. I am slightly shaking in my boots. It was also hair night, which is always as interesting task. She had had her hair in little puffs, but they were falling out of their holders so it was time for a new do...one that might last a few days (maybe a week if we are lucky). If you heard a shriek around 8:45, it was the princess, giving me her opinion of hair time. Armed with a lollipop and a large assortment of colorful hair bands, we did make it through. And I must say it turned out pretty cute.

Then there is the puppy. Lovin her to bits, but she is all puppy. We thought she was 5 months. Turns out she is closer to 3 months. Hence she is a chewer. But she is so silly, and sweet and has brought many needed smiles to our house. We love it. She has been keeping Zach company (who IS really sick and back in bed with a high temp...poor kid) and she is getting me out exercising every morning and evening which is great. But it is like having two toddlers. Tonight I had to tell both of them to get down many times, to take "that" out of their mouths, and they both heard plenty of No, NO, NO!

But I think they will be the best of buddies and will have each other for many years to come!

Sometimes Parenting Sucks

2009-11-05T17:22:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought we might be entering a time of health, peace and tranquility (yeah, shut up, I know with 4 kids this is unlikely) we seem to have hit a colossal snag. My sweet Z-man, my prone to high emotions, high drama, and a dose of hypochondria child is really having a hard time. I am having a really hard time separating truth from fiction, real pain from conjured pain, and emotion from manipulation. It is a yucky place to be and it brings out the very worst parent in me. We were hoping to get in to our MD tomorrow to get some insight, but the clinic called and he is out for the next 7 days with H1N1..oh joy. I am at an impass and I can't figure out what to do. I hate it when my instinct is too quiet and my resources minimal. Say a little prayer for him...I know it isn't easy on him either.

On other notes, I am not loving 3 yr olds. I love teaching the 4/5 year olds, but the three year olds might do me in. Lucky they only meet twice a week. I am not sure preschool teaching is for me. It is a job,one I can do, but oh I think a year will be the max.

Part of my problem is I have my heart set on a job that isn't vacant at the moment. But I am feeling such a strong call to go in this direction. I can't discuss it all yet as the chips are in mid-fall...but a little prayer in that area would be good too!

Not all parenting sucks...the 11 yr old and 6 year old are hilarious right now and thriving...and princess sunshine is baby and girl and toddler and mischief maker all rolled into one. I love it.

SO I solider on...unsure of the path or the destination, but taking it one little day at a time.

The Halloween Scene

2009-10-31T19:33:00.000-07:00

It's 9pm on all hallows eve...the kids are in varying stages of their sugar highs. The tween is passed out in the reclining chair, the puppy is passed out in the papasaan . The toddler is spinning in a circle singing, and the first-grader is already heading to bed (heard mumbling...I'm the only smart one in the whole family!) The "has been sick for a million years" boy is happily enjoying a tummy full of candy...not acid and mom and dad are facebooking and blogging the adventures of the night. All in all the perfect end to a fun night.

We live in what one could call an All American neighborhood. You know the kind you imagine when you think about a midwestern "perfect" place. Tonight we joined the masses of witches, gobblins, princesses and ghosts and trick or treated our way down Baker Street. Moms and dad's pushing strollers with the littlest trick or treaters, dogs greeting each other on darkened corners, your favorite old couple dolling out ziplocks full of treats and telling your kids ( who are trying to be scary )that they still look like the same sweet boys they saw last year. It's one of those feel good nights. A night you can forget about H1N1 , the financial crisis, and making it through the winter. Instead the quest is simple...see how many friends you can greet and how many snickers you can secretly consume. And if I rate my night by those standards, it was definitely a winner.

The Road to Recovery??

2009-10-30T17:32:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I had all my school aged children at school. It was a miracle. My Z-man is finally feeling better, I think. I bit the bullet and took him to the MD on Wed. The therory the MD gave was that these kiddo's who have been hit by a couple viruses in a row are getting this GI virus that "settles" in for a while and makes for a sore, acidic tummy. He is on Zantac for a few weeks and hopefully that will help. It has been a real parenting challenge. Z is my high EQ kiddo who trends toward the dramatic. He has a history of tummy attacks that have in the past been anxiety related, andso it has made diagnosing this bout that much harder. I hate it when I have to question what my kids are telling me, but I also don't want the wool permanently pulled over my eyes. Hopefully we are now on the road to recovery and we can get back to some sense of normal. Thirty five days of sickness is too many! The tips of my fingers are dried out and peeling from all the bleach I have cleaned with, my laundry has become a huge stack of "sick" laundry, and my paycheck is looking a little skinny this month given all the days mama stayed home. Oh well, I guess when you choose to have a large family, you take the joys and challenges!

On the puppy front, I am completely in love. She is all puppy and is chewing everything, piddling on plenty, and can melt your heart with one look from her sweet little face. I am such a sucker! E has been gone the last two days and I decided that 4 kids and a new puppy are not complimentary to the single parent! At least it wasn't dull!

We are looking forward to a weekend of fun...sectionals for the HS football team, trick or treating...fun fun fun! Pictures to follow!

A puppy, the flu, what more can we do??

2009-10-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

If you followed us over from the other blog, you know that it has been a rather sick time in our sandbox. Today will mark day 32 (give or take) of having someone home sick. It has hit all of us except the littlest one which totally amazes me!! We started with the flu that should not be named and then it morphed into tummy flu. That has lasted the last 2 weeks and at least for the 9 year old is taking a very long time to get over. He has missed another solid week of school. I feel so bad for him!

I am a nurturer. I LOVE to love, and care for, and pamper anything (well almost) that has legs and breathes. Sometimes, this is a slight downfall...some may say I give my heart too easliy, and the chaos that is my daily life comes from this insane desire to love. But it makes me happy...it makes me smile...and it fills my heart.

SO when you are stuck with in the walls of your home...your kids are sick, and you have just put your dear dog down...petfinder seems a great way to wile away some time. This of course leads to a little more chaos...a spouse that shakes his head and smiles, and 4 kids that now have a new puppy!

SUnday afternoon in the midst of the first wave of flu recovery, we piled everyone in the car for a ride through the farm fields to go meet "Susie" (now known as Izzy). She is a sheltie, beagle mix and soo cute. She is 4 months old and full of puppy, but also snuggles well, and is a laugh a minute. Other than the howling she does when kenneled in the middle of the night, she is perfect. (okay so it's only 2 days in..but so far so good!)

I best scoot... looks like I have 2 home today, so best call my new best friend, the school nurse, and let her know we won't grace them with our presence today!

Enjoy a little Izzy cuteness!

A new spot to settle into

2009-10-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the new blogspot! Because our adoption journey is over and we have fully settled in to a family of six, I decided it was time to start a new place to chronical the tales of our brood.

Stay tuned for adventures, stories, and anecdotes from a life full to overflowing!